This Week’s Toddler Talk

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We have some pretty exciting news to share! Yesterday we brought home our 9 week-old french bulldog. We named him, Louie! The kids call him “King Louie”. We are head over heels in love with this sweet boy, and I can’t wait to share some snaps of him soon.

If you are new to this series, then take a look at the first post for some color. I gave each family member a nickname, all in good humor, and to share a bit about their personalities. I adore the funny things kids say, and I found myself documenting our conversations, so it made perfect sense that it become a series on the blog. So, here is This Week’s Toddler Talk.

—> It’s the end of the day, and Audrey is tired. Instead of our usual bath, I want her to take a quick shower, so that we can get ready to go to bed. Audrey isn’t loving this idea, and we are quickly going into meltdown mode. To help prevent toddler tantrums, I invented a “pretend” reset button that the children have on their bodies. When one of the kids get upset, I try to distract he/she, get a little silly, and talk about hitting the reset button. The reset button can be anywhere on their body..this is an important part of my reset button strategy. Often they like to make up a new spot for the reset button, then they pretend to turn it on and off, we all laugh, and voila –> meltdown has been forgotten, and we are back to a happy positive behavior. Anyone else do things like this? I’m guessing yes, and would love to hear what works in your house. Anyhow, the below incident went a little different than I was used to. Here it goes. 

Mary Poppins: Audrey, we are going to take a quick shower, because we don’t have time for a bath tonight.

The Devil Wears Spiderman: What? No, I don’t like showers.

Mary Poppins: I know, but we will make it fast. (I undress her and she is starting to yell).

The Devil Wears Spiderman: Mom, you are the worst!!! I don’t like showers!! I want a bath.

Mary Poppins: (Trying to keep my cool, and ignore the approaching meltdown). Hurry up and hop in, Audrey.

The Devil Wears Spiderman: I don’t like this, AHHHHHHHH!!! (lots of yelling, arms thrashing, and boom –> we are in a full-blown tantrum)

Mary Poppins: Audrey, let’s hit the reset button. Where is the reset button today?

The Devil Wears Spiderman: Mom, there is no reset button today!! Get me out of here!!! (more yelling)

Mary Poppins: Come on, let’s change that attitude. Is the reset button here? Here? Should we hit it twice? (trying to be silly).

The Devil Wears Spiderman: Mom!!!!! (she hollers) The reset button is broken. It’s broken forever, and there is no reset button on humans. Stop talking about the reset button, it doesn’t work! Buttons are on toys not kids!! This is annoying!!!!

And just like that, the reset button is retired, and my daughter sounds like a teenager. Truth, I had a slight blow to my mommy ego. I was proud of that distraction strategy, but when your five year-old calls you out, then it’s time to come up with a new strategy. That’s the beauty about children, they keep growing up, and love keeping us on our toes. 

—> Jack and I are at the park. Jack has found his competitive side, and ALWAYS has to win.

Cupid: Mom, let’s race! (huge smile)

Mary Poppins: Okay, sounds good.

Cupid: Okay, I’m going to say WEADY (ready), SET, GO, and then we race! (he is so excited)

Mary Poppins: Okay, I’m ready.

Cupid: WEADY, SET, GO!!! (we both start running, and suddenly Jack stops, throws his hands up, and starts yelling). Mommy, you can’t start running right away!

Mary Poppins: Wait, why? You said to race after you yelled, WEADY, SET, GO.

Cupid: (with an annoyed voice) I know, but you have to wait until I run ahead, then you get to go.

Mary Poppins: Oh, okay, I can do that.

Cupid: Okay, let’s do it again. WEADY, SET, GO!!! (I stay back and let him run ahead a bit, then jog slowly catching up to him, but not passing him). NO!!!!!!! Mommy, you can’t come up this close! Stop! (puts both hands straight out, directing me to stop)

Mary Poppins: Jack, are we racing? I was just trying to race with you. (trying not to laugh at his seriousness)

Cupid: Mom, we ARE racing, but you need to walk. I run, okay!?

Mary Poppins: So let me understand? We are racing, but I have to wait a minute to start, you get to run, but I have to walk. Are these the rules?

Cupid: Yes, mommy because that’s how I win. I always win when we race, okay?! Follow the rules, Mommy! (he uses the same tone as I do when I say that to the kids…and I’m trying so hard to keep a straight face)

Mary Poppins: Okay lover, let’s race, and I’m guessing you are going to win. (he smiles big and proud because I understand his rules now, lol)